The Letters

We have been meaning to write. For years we have sat at dinner tables across Johannesburg listening to you explain yourselves. One person cannot…

Tonight, people will dress up as ghosts. Tomorrow, most of them will have the decency to stop.

We have seen the screenshots. We have heard the voice notes. We know their childhood in more detail than our own. We have enough material for a…

You sound like a plan until someone asks for a date.

You arrived at seven minutes and forty seconds, opening with “quick one” and the sound of someone reversing out of a driveway.

At first you replied before we had put the phone down. Then it took an hour, then a day, then a week and a “sorry, things have been mad”. Throughout…

This letter is addressed particularly to the Witkoppen and Rivonia off-ramp in Sunninghill. We have been doing this for years.

You promised to introduce us to someone compatible. So far, we have met a married man in a “very complicated situation” and an entrepreneur who needs…

You have taken responsibility for more bad decisions than any ex we have ever met. They should be studying your work.

You have been on our bedroom chair for eight months. Your owner lasted four.

I am writing to you by the only name you have ever been willing to answer to. For five months you have explained, patiently and usually after midnight…

We came to you with one screenshot and a simple question: “Am I overthinking this?” Forty-three messages later, we have an attachment style, a…