The Modern Breakup Agency
We write the letters, make the calls and arrange farewells with flowers, chocolates, champagne or something considerably stronger. We will take care of the uncomfortable conversation. You can get on with your life.
Officially Open for Breakups!
Book Your BreakupPerhaps the spark has gone, you have met someone else, or the dreadful prospect of another Sunday lunch with their family has convinced you that solitude is a vastly underrated pleasure. Whatever the reason, you have decided the relationship has run its course. Unfortunately, the other person may not yet have received the memorandum.
You could, of course, ghost them, develop a sudden and rather suspicious devotion to your career, or dust off that great insult to human intelligence, “it’s not you, it’s me”. An extraordinary amount of effort to avoid a perfectly ordinary conversation, but apparently some people prefer the administrative burden of dishonesty.
At Dear John, we will listen to your story, find the right words and, once you have approved them, deliver the news on your behalf. We will handle the conversation with enough consideration to preserve their dignity and enough clarity to ensure nobody mistakes the breakup for a temporary scheduling conflict.
After all, ending a relationship is perfectly respectable. Making a complete dickhead of yourself in the process is an entirely separate decision.
You have already made yours. We will take care of the goodbye.
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The original way to say goodbye. A personalised letter that says what needs to be said, without the awkward conversation.
R350
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Can't face the conversation? We'll make the call. A real person, a proper goodbye and no mysterious loss of phone reception.
R550
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The relationship may be dead, but at least the flowers aren't.
R850
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Because chocolate has never disappointed anyone quite like you have.
R950
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Some endings deserve a little sparkle.
R1,250
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For the breakups that require something stronger.
R1,150
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Because leaving someone on read isn't a relationship strategy.
R450
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A clean break deserves a clean cupboard.
R850
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A gift voucher your friend redeems for their own breakup, whenever they are ready. Some assembly of courage required.
R350 to R2,000
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Some relationships were never meant to be permanent. Especially the group chat.
R450
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The relationship is over. Let them eat cake.
R1,400
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Some endings need a little more planning.
Price on request
Choose your breakup service and tell us what has brought you to this rather interesting point in your romantic life. We only need enough information to understand the situation, although we appreciate that some stories are considerably more entertaining than others.
We will prepare your goodbye and make sure you approve the message before we deliver it. Whether the occasion calls for a letter, telephone call or farewell gift, the final decision about what is said remains yours.
Once everything has been agreed, we will arrange the delivery and handle the communication professionally and discreetly. You can concentrate on whatever comes next, preferably having learnt something useful from the experience.
We understand that some relationships are best left in the past, along with their photographs, questionable decisions and rather unfortunate WhatsApp conversations.
Your personal information is handled with discretion and confidentiality, and we have absolutely no intention of turning your romantic history into public entertainment.
We air grievances, not dirty laundry.
Claudia Correia has spent much of her career handling difficult conversations, so she was rather surprised to discover how spectacularly bad some people are at having them.An unfortunate encounter with modern dating, combined with a perfectly respectable entrepreneurial instinct, gave her an idea that was simply too good to ignore.And so Dear John was born.
Read the Founder’s Letter →Yes. We deliver your approved breakup message through the service you've chosen. It's rather the point.
Yes. We're discreet, not deceptive. We'll introduce ourselves and explain why we're contacting them.
Absolutely. It's your breakup, and nothing is delivered without your approval.
We handle the communication respectfully, but we can't control someone's reaction. We won't argue, harass or continue contacting someone who asks us to stop.
We will make the agreed contact attempts and let you know the outcome. We cannot compel someone to answer a call, read a letter or accept a delivery, and we certainly have no intention of stalking them around Johannesburg. We will explain the available options before proceeding with anything further.
Dear John · The Modern Breakup Agency
Breaking up is hard enough. We'll take care of the goodbye.
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Tonight, people will dress up as ghosts. Tomorrow, most of them will have the decency to stop.
We have seen the screenshots. We have heard the voice notes. We know their childhood in more detail than our own. We have enough material for a…
The Modern Breakup Agency
Dear John is for adults.
Our site contains strong language, the occasional dickhead and, on request, sometimes tequila. Please confirm you are 18 or older.
What you tell us is handled in confidence. Privacy Policy
