Dear John Letter (Digital)
The original way to say goodbye. A personalised breakup letter, written for you and delivered digitally. Considerably better than disappearing without an explanation.
The Modern Breakup Agency
The Breakup Menu
Pick your exit. We’ll do the talking.
- You Approve Every Word
- Strictly Confidential
- Delivered Within 5 Business Days
- Secure Payment
- No Ghosting Required
Dear John Letter (Physical)
The same personalised Dear John letter, on paper. Printed, sealed and delivered to their door. Because some endings deserve an envelope.
The Breakup Call
Can't face the conversation? We'll make the call. A real person will deliver the news with kindness, clarity and enough tact to avoid making you sound like a complete Dickhead.
Breakup with Flowers
Nothing softens a breakup quite like a beautiful bouquet. We'll arrange the flowers and include your personalised Dear John letter. The relationship may be dead, but at least the flowers aren't.
After You Book
What Happens Next
Book
Choose your exit, add to cart and pay securely.
Brief Us
Tell us what happened in a short, confidential briefing.
Approve
Read the draft. Nothing is sent until you sign off every word.
Done
We deliver it, honestly and kindly, so you can get on with your life.
Before You Book
Questions, Answered
How quickly do you deliver?
Standard services go out within 5 business days of you approving the final wording.
Will they know it came from me?
Yes. We introduce ourselves, say who asked us to get in touch and why. We never pretend to be you, we never deceive anyone, and we stop contacting them the moment they ask.
Do I see the message before it goes?
Always. After checkout you complete a short, confidential briefing, we write the draft, and nothing is sent until you approve every word in writing.
Is it confidential?
Completely. Every booking is covered by the confidentiality agreement in our Terms of Service, and briefings and drafts are deleted 90 days after delivery unless you ask us to keep them.
Where do you deliver?
Digital letters and calls reach anyone, anywhere. Physical letters are delivered anywhere in South Africa, delivery included. Flowers are sourced from a trusted partner in the recipient’s own city and delivered locally, for a flat local delivery fee of R150.
Can I change my mind?
You can cancel any time after purchase, with a 50% cancellation fee. Once you approve your draft, it is final: no refunds and no returns. We are a services company working on time and materials, and our time is money, so our refund policy is strict. Full details are in our Terms of Service.
Still wondering how it works, write to letsbreakup@dearjohn.co.za.
The Small Print
We deliver the news, without the drama. Every message is approved before delivery under a non-disclosure agreement. We identify ourselves, respect the recipient’s boundaries and never engage in harassment, deception or public humiliation. Some circumstances are too sensitive or unsafe for a third-party breakup service, and we reserve the right to decline those requests.
Prices are in South African rand. Flowers are sourced from trusted partners in the recipient’s own city and delivered locally, with a flat local delivery fee of R150 anywhere in South Africa. The physical letter includes delivery.
New bookings: letsbreakup@dearjohn.co.za · Deliveries: specialdelivery@dearjohn.co.za
Dear John · The Modern Breakup Agency
Don’t be a Dickhead.
Be a Dear John.
