The Notice Period · Letter 10 · 1 Min Read

Dear Ex’s Hoodie

Delivered Friday 23 October 2026.

Johannesburg
23 October 2026

Dear Ex’s Hoodie,

You have been on our bedroom chair for eight months. Your owner lasted four.

We tell people we keep you because you are comfortable. This would be more convincing if we had not once cried into your armpit. Brave, given what we know about your owner’s laundry habits.

Now they want to collect you. At nine on a Friday. With wine. Apparently it is far too late for a courier and a perfectly normal hour for knitwear.

We are sending you back by courier. Nobody in the history of Johannesburg has driven to Randburg at 21:00 for a hoodie.

Yours, reclaiming the chair and our judgement,

Dear John

dearjohn.co.zaLetter 10

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P.S.

The Dear John Letter (Physical). The letter goes to them. The hoodie is between you and your conscience.

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Dear John | Ex Press

Some things are better ended in writing.

The only ex that texts back, and only when it has something worth saying: a new service, an offer or a piece of merch worth being seen in.

Consider it the one relationship in your inbox that comes with absolutely no expectations.