Dear Mercury Retrograde

Dear Mercury Retrograde,

You have taken responsibility for more bad decisions than any ex we have ever met. They should be studying your work.

Every time someone sleeps with the person they spent six months getting over, you get the blame. Mercury did not unblock them, change the sheets and send your location.

We understand the appeal. It is easier to say a planet disrupted your judgement than admit the sex was good and you were hoping the personality had improved.

We are ending this arrangement. Their birth chart may explain a great deal. So, frankly, does the wife.

Yours, taking responsibility on this planet,

Dear John