The Letters
To all the things we are breaking up with.
Formal notice is served!
You only ever see us after a breakup. We arrive in new trainers, sign a 12-month contract and tell the front desk we are “doing this for me”. The…
You are the only confession people make while hoping to be told what a lovely person they are.
For eight months we have been sleeping together, keeping a toothbrush at your place and hearing about your childhood. Apparently asking whether we…
You always begin with “u up?”, as though the only obstacle to a great romance is whether we are conscious.
You have turned “seen at 21:14” into enough evidence for three friends, two screenshots and a reconstruction of someone’s entire evening.
Please accept this letter as 17 days’ notice. On 1 November, Dear John opens for breakups. Several of you have been meaning to end something since…
Give Us Something to Write Home About.
Who or what deserves a strongly worded goodbye and why don’t you tell us why you have had enough. Do not worry if it sounds a little petty, we are particularly interested in anything that begins with “I know this sounds ridiculous, but…” So go ahead and nominate anyone or anything. We cannot promise to take your side, but we would love to hear it.
Some things are better ended in writing.
The only ex that texts back, and only when it has something worth saying: a new service, an offer or a piece of merch worth being seen in.
Consider it the one relationship in your inbox that comes with absolutely no expectations.
