15 October 2026
Dear Johannesburg,
Please accept this letter as 17 days’ notice. On 1 November, Dear John opens for breakups. Several of you have been meaning to end something since winter, and pool season is nearly here. Surely this person is not coming to another braai.
Johannesburg, you will cut across four lanes rather than miss an off-ramp, yet you have spent eight months telling someone you stopped fancying in May that you are “waiting for the right time”. We know you can make a difficult exit. We have seen you on William Nicol.
Until we open, we are writing to the things this city should have left long ago. The 2am text. The dating app you delete after every disappointing date, then reinstall from the bath.
You are welcome to forward the letters. If someone asks whether you are trying to tell them something, kindly stop making us do all the work.
Yours in breakups,
Dear John
