Dear Situationship

Dear Situationship,

For eight months we have been sleeping together, keeping a toothbrush at your place and hearing about your childhood. Apparently asking whether we are together is where things get too intimate.

You are not ready for a relationship, but you would prefer we did not see anyone else. You want your needs met and your silences understood. We would settle for being introduced by name when we bump into your friends.

We have tried being relaxed. We have become so low-maintenance that you appear to have mistaken us for patio furniture. You only really sit with us when the weather is nice.

You said a label would ruin what we have. Allow us to try one: over.

Yours, now available to someone available,

Dear John